


Expecting the Unexpected

by wildenettles



Category: My Time At Portia (Video Game)
Genre: Childbirth, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mentions of child neglect, Phyllis is an angel do not debate me, Pregnancy, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Unhappy Childhoods, Unplanned Pregnancy, Zack's dad was shitty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:33:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildenettles/pseuds/wildenettles
Summary: Zack is pregnant. This is terrifying and new and he doesn't know how Arlo will react. Will they be able to cope as new parents?
Relationships: Arlo/Builder (My Time At Portia), Arlo/Male Builder (My Time At Portia)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. The Reveal

**Author's Note:**

> I realise I wrote a previous fic where Zack is cis but he's trans in this au. He and Arlo have been dating for about two years now and for this fic, the Flying Pigs entrance exams take place over a period of weeks, starting from the end of Autumn and ending in Spring.

Zack couldn’t ever remember feeling this shitty before in his life. He sat shivering in his bathroom, having just thrown up what felt like every meal he’d ever had ever, feeling too hot and too cold all at once. This must be some kind of flu, he thought. Didn’t Phyllis say spring time was normally when colds and shit spread around? When was the last time he visited a doctor? Fuck, when was the last time he even got this sick? 

He managed to get off the tiles and fix himself a glass of water in the kitchen to get the taste of bile from his mouth. His reflection stared back at him from the window, gaunt faced with dark bags under his eyes, his hair looking as though he’d been dragged through a bush backwards. He looked like shit, there was no denying that. Maybe he should take a few days off, get some rest. Zack looked at his calendar. Arlo wasn’t due back for at least another two weeks. He’d gone to Lucien for the Flying Pigs entrance tests that began the last day of Autumn, and Zack was trying to ignore how lonely he felt without him by throwing himself into work. It helped the days go faster, but now… Well, maybe he could find something less taxiing to do. Like knitting. 

Zack stood up a little straighter. Actually, he was feeling a little better now. His throat still hurt from vomiting but his nausea was going away. Maybe he just ate something bad? He’s never had food poisoning before but Arlo had once. The poor guy practically lived in their bathroom for a few days. So maybe he just finally got out whatever was bothering him and now he could move on with his life? That sounded good. 

He ran a hand through his pink hair and sighed. Okay, so he wouldn’t do anything too strenuous today, but maybe he could get a few jobs done. He took another swig of water before heading out the door. He had a few commissions to deliver and he wanted to get some groceries, those weren’t too hard to do, right? He wasn’t pushing himself. Well, that’s what he thought, until he opened his eyes and realised he wasn’t in town square anymore and was instead staring up at the ceiling of the Portia hospital with Phyllis standing over him. 

“What happened?” He asked. His voice was groggy and his throat felt like sandpaper. 

“You fainted,” Phyllis said, “You’re dehydrated. Xu has you on a drip, so you’ll be staying here for a few hours. No ifs or buts about it.” 

“I had water this morning,” Zack protested. 

Phyllis fixed him with a stern look. “Clearly not enough.” 

Zack sighed. “Yeah. Okay. I threw up a bit this morning, so that’s probably why.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, I think I ate something bad.” 

“What did you have?” 

“Just some noodles we had leftover in the fridge.” 

“Zack if you ate mouldy noodles I will throttle you. Anyway, is there anything else bothering you? Any other symptoms?” Phyllis took out a clipboard to take down notes. 

“Uh, I’m really tired all the time. I ache a lot, I’m getting a lot of headaches. I thought I could’ve had the flu as well, I don’t usually get this sick unless I’m on my…” 

Zack froze. A thought hit him. Usually he got nauseous and headaches around his period. Only he wasn’t on his period. In fact, he missed it. He should’ve had it the past weekend. 

“I’ve missed a period,” he said quietly. 

“Come again?” Phyllis said. 

“I’ve missed a period,” Zack repeated. Heat rushed to his face. How the fuck could he have been so stupid? Did he and Arlo use a condom the last time they had sex? Zack couldn’t remember. His stomach tightened and he thought he would throw up again. 

Phyllis left his bedside to go into another room. She rustled around as though searching for something before returning with a pregnancy test and a small cup. 

“Here. You can use our bathroom if you want a bit more privacy.” 

Zack swallowed thickly then took the cup and test from her. He locked himself in their private bathroom, feeling all too small and alone with only the IV stand there as company. He only managed a small dribble of pee, feeling all too anxious about what he was doing. He popped the test in and closed his eyes. His leg shook wildly, making the IV stand rattle next to him. What if the test was positive? What if he really was pregnant? Would Arlo want a baby? Would  _ Zack _ want a baby? He’d never thought about having kids before. Especially since his own dad was so shitty, Zack would undoubtedly pass that shittiness onto his own kid. And he couldn’t do that, not to them, not to an unborn baby that deserved far much better than Zack could ever provide. He jumped as someone knocked on the door. 

“Are you alright, Zack?” Phyllis said gently. 

“Uh, yeah,” Zack lied through his teeth. He took a deep breath and looked down at the test. 

Two pink lines. 


	2. The Pep Talk

Zack was sent home that evening with a book on pregnancy, a herbal tea remedy to help soothe nausea and strict doctor’s orders for rest and to drink more fluids. Zack sat at the edge of his bed, head held in his hands. What the fuck was he going to do? Phyllis had sat with him in the bathroom as he cried, rubbing his back and telling him there were options, from adoption to terminating the pregnancy altogether. She told Zack it was his body and his choice. But Zack didn’t think that was fair. It was his body but it wasn’t just his kid. It was Arlo’s too. And Arlo should have a say in what happens to it, not just Zack. But when was Arlo coming home? 

Zack thought about writing a letter to him, but he wasn’t exactly sure where to send it to. The Flying Pigs HQ? Would they allow Arlo to receive mail even if he’s meant to be doing his tests? And even if they did allow it, wouldn’t Zack just distract Arlo? Arlo worked so hard for this, he’d been training all year and he’s failed so many times before, this could be his big chance and Zack would ruin it by telling him. Zack fell back against the bed just to curl in on himself, as though trying to hide from the world. 

“It’s not your fault,” he said to the baby growing inside him, “You didn’t ask to be here.” 

It felt surreal to know that there was something growing inside him. He supposed he was meant to feel joy or love or a mix between the two but all he could feel was dread. He would be a really shitty dad, he knew it, his own dad was gone all the time and he never had a mother. All he had was Aunt Kendra and she died when Zack was still little. He mostly grew up on his own, passed from family to family just so he’d have a roof over his head, but nowhere to call home, not until he came to Portia. How would he know how to look after a kid if he never had anyone to look after him? What if he made the kid turn out like him? Bitter, moody and full of self-loathing? 

He didn’t realise he’d fallen asleep until he opened his eyes and there was daylight creeping in behind the curtains. He rubbed at his eyes with a groan and sat up. That was when he heard a knock on his front door before it creaked open. 

“Zack, honey, are you awake?” Phyllis called in. 

“Yeah,” he answered, “Yeah, I’m, you know, decent and stuff. Come in.” 

He threw off his old shirt to put on a clean one as Phyllis sat at the kitchen table, her nurse’s uniform pristine and crisp as always. Zack poured them both some tea. 

“You look a little better,” she said, “Like you’ve had a good night’s sleep.” 

“I wouldn’t call it good. I had a lot on my mind.” 

“I can imagine,” Phyllis leaned forward a bit, her perfectly manicured hands clasping her cup, “Are you worried what Arlo would think?” 

Zack bit his lip. “A little.” 

“Oh, Zack, he loves you, you know that. He wouldn’t make you go through something that made you miserable. Is that what you’re scared of?” 

“I’m more scared of what I’ll do to the kid.” 

Phyllis frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean,” Zack gestured at his cup as though it has all the answers, “I mean my own dad was gone for my whole life. I don’t have any parent figures-” 

“Presley,” Phyllis reminded him. 

“I don’t know if he counts, I only met him a year or two ago. He didn’t raise me. From him, I only know how to be less shitty as a person, not how to parent anyone.” 

“I don’t know,” Phyllis leaned back in her chair, “He’s been patient with you, gave you encouragement when you needed it, tells everyone who will listen how proud he is of you. That seems very fatherly to me.” 

“That’s all parenting is? Just tell the kid oh good job and that’s it?” 

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” Phyllis rolled her eyes at Zack, “Honey, no one knows how to be a good parent. But the fact that you’re worried about how you’ll treat this baby shows you care. Do you think Carol and Mars started off knowing exactly how to raise their daughters? Or Gale with his children? Parents make mistakes a lot with their kids, that’s normal, it’s learning from them and growing with your kids that makes you a good one. And I’m confident you’ll be a good dad if that’s what you want.” 

Zack’s jaw trembled. He swallowed thickly and sniffed, his eyes feeling red and itchy. “How do you always know what to say?” 

“I’m a damn good nurse,” Phyllis smiled at him, “Also, I know what it’s like to have crappy parents, Zack. And sometimes I worry if I ever have kids I’ll repeat their mistakes. You’re not alone in that regard.” 

“I kinda wish we had some real drinks so we could cheer to shitty parents,” Zack chuckled. He felt a little lighter now.

“Ah, no alcohol for you. But I’ll drink for both of us when I’m off work.” 

“Wow, what a sacrifice you’re making. The Church of Light should hear about this.” 

Phyllis giggled and swatted at him before downing the last of her tea. “I have to head on now. Feel free to drop in if you feel anything’s wrong or you just want a chat. Mental health is as important as physical health, you know.” 

Zack waved her off from his wooden gate, watching her disappear beyond Portia’s walls. He stood there for a few seconds, arms folded, wondering what he should do for the rest of his day. He could give his house a light clean, that wasn’t too strenuous, right? Xu told him to take it easy and rest but Zack wasn’t the kind to sit still for too long. 

Footsteps sounded near him and he turned to see a familiar redhead coming up the road from the bus stop. Zack’s heart picked up speed as his stomach tightened.  _ Arlo _ . He was back early. But from the way his shoulders were slumped and his eyes were focused on the ground, Zack knew it wasn’t good. 

“Hey,” he said softly as Arlo stopped at the gate. His boyfriend’s eyes were glassy and red, like he’d been crying before he got here. There were dark bags under his eyes and his whole body seemed to be sinking, as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. It probably felt like it was.

Arlo dropped his bag on the ground. “Hey,” he said. 

Zack gave him a small half-smile. “I have tea made. Want some?” 

He didn’t want to ask outright about the tests, not wanting to prod a sore spot. 

Arlo shook his head. “I’m going to bed. It was a long trip and I didn’t sleep.” 

Zack nodded. Arlo walked past him to head into the house and Zack tried to ignore the icy grip on his stomach. He’d have to tell him soon, but he didn’t want to burden Arlo now when there was already a lot on his mind. He must’ve failed, that was the only explanation for this. Zack couldn’t imagine what that felt like, to work so hard for so long for something only to wind up back at the beginning again. It broke his heart to see Arlo so disappointed, but he could tell when someone wanted to be left alone. So instead of following Arlo into the house, Zack decided to go see if Ginger wanted some company.


	3. The Second Reveal

It was half seven in the evening by the time Zack got home. He’d spent the day with Ginger making bracelets, necklaces and even showing her how to woodwork. They made a small birdhouse and Ginger couldn’t wait to paint and decorate it. Zack had a feeling that Ginger knew something was up though. She kept giving Zack little glances as though she suspected something was wrong and was waiting for Zack to tell her. But Zack couldn’t tell her what was going on, not before telling Arlo. He thought it was bad enough that both Xu and Phyllis knew before Arlo did, he couldn’t add Ginger to the list. 

The lights were on and there was a rich, spicy smell coming from the stove. Arlo didn’t cook too often, his work schedule was a bit all over the place sometimes, but when he did it was like heaven on a plate. Zack’s mouth watered. He’d only managed a small sandwich at Ginger’s, his appetite hadn’t been great all day, except now he was suddenly starving. 

Arlo was out of his uniform and dressed in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants. He looked a little better, there was more colour in his face and his eyes were brighter. Zack smiled at him. 

“Something smells good,” he said. 

Arlo glanced up at him. “Spaghetti with hot sauce. I also made you some smoked fish. I, uh, I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to brush you off like that.” 

“It’s okay,” Zack said as he sat at the table, “You were tired.” 

“It wasn’t just that,” Arlo said, turning the heat off the stove. He served their dinner in silence then sat across from Zack. “I failed the tests again.” 

Yeah, he had a hunch that was it. Zack reached over to take Arlo’s hand. “I’m sorry. I know how hard you trained for it. But… You know you can always try again?” 

“That’s the thing, I  _ can’t _ ,” Arlo said, “This was the sixth time now. They said maybe it was for the best that I gave up. That I wasn’t getting younger, and besides, I’m doing such a good job here why don’t I just stay on as captain? Why bother trying again when I know I’m going to fail?” 

Zack’s shoulders fell. “Arls, I’m so sorry.” 

Arlo sighed and pushed his bangs out of his face. “You don’t have anything to apologise for. You were a big help to me this year with my training and you gave me so much encouragement. I just… I had such a good feeling this time, that I was really going to pass. It came as more of a shock to me this time to learn I failed. I got my hopes too high.” 

Zack got up from his seat to walk around the table and pull Arlo into a hug. Arlo sighed deeply and buried his face in Zack’s chest. Zack could feel him relaxing against him, that was good. He wanted Arlo to feel proud of himself and how far he’d come, not be burdened by what some snobby elitists thought. 

“I don’t know if this helps, but I think you’re way cooler than all the Flying Pigs combined,” Zack said. 

Arlo snorted. “Coming from you? That means a lot.” He pulled Zack down so the smaller man sat in his lap, his arms wrapping easily around him. “But you kinda have to say stuff like that because you’re dating me.” 

“I don’t have to say shit,” Zack replied, throwing his arms around Arlo’s neck, “Just like you don’t have to take their shit. I bet you money that everyone here in town thinks you’re the best captain that Portia has had in years.” 

“How much do you wanna bet?” 

“A whole lot. Like a whole single coin. The point is, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, least of all some assholes who don’t even know you. If they don’t want to bring you on, that’s their loss, and a pretty big fucking one if you ask me.” 

Arlo kissed him. Their lips rolled lazily over each other, Arlo’s fingers threading through Zack’s hair. Arlo’s facial hair tickled Zack’s skin but honestly, he didn’t mind, it felt good to have this again after going so long without. Okay, it was a few weeks but that felt like a few hundred years to Zack.

They ate their dinner in better spirits, without any more mention of the Flying Pigs or failed tests. Zack was careful not to bring up his recent hospital visit, not wanting to broach the topic of their baby just yet. He wanted to wait a day or two, let Arlo get settled and in a better headspace before telling him something as life-changing as that.

But their baby had other plans, clearly, and made themselves known by making Zack throw up the entirety of his dinner later that night. 

Arlo stood behind him, rubbing his back. “I must not have cooked the fish properly,” he said. 

Zack shook his head and grabbed a towel to wipe his mouth. Arlo handed him a glass of water which Zack drank greedily from. 

“No. It’s not the fish. It’s, uh, it’s something else,” Zack said. 

Arlo frowned. “A stomach bug? Flu?” 

“No. I… Let’s talk in the bedroom, it’s cold as fuck in here,” Zack said, letting Arlo pull him up and carry him to their bed. At least here it was a bit more comfortable and Zack had the blankets to hide under if the conversation turned ugly. He clenched and unclenched his hands in his lap and took a deep breath. Arlo watched him expectantly. 

“Arlo, I’m pregnant,” he said. 

Silence. 

Arlo stared at Zack from where he stood, mouth popped open. Zack stiffened, bracing himself for a barrage of questions. 

“Pregnant?” Arlo repeated. 

Zack bit his lip and nodded. “I just found out yesterday.”

“Oh shit,” Arlo breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose, “And you didn’t tell me earlier because I was in such a bad mood when I came home. Zack, I’m sorry.” 

Arlo sat next to him on the bed and threw his arm around Zack. Zack took a deep, shuddering breath, his jaw trembling and heat pricking behind his eyes. 

“Did Xu say anything else? Are you alright?” Arlo asked. 

“I’m fine. I just need to drink more. Baby’s too soon to know. I’ve got to get a scan in a few weeks.” 

“But are you alright with this?” Arlo gestured to Zack’s stomach, “I know sometimes we say things in the heat of the moment but I kinda figured that was all just fantasy stuff. Are you okay with the baby? Is this something you want?” 

“Is it something  _ you  _ want?” Zack asked. 

Arlo sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Yeah. I really want kids. But I’m not going to put you through this just for me. It’s a lot to ask from you. If you need to… You know… End it, I’ll support you.” 

Zack’s hand pressed over his stomach, his chest tightening. “No. I don’t want to do that.” 

Arlo nodded. “Okay. Can I?” He gestured towards Zack’s stomach. 

Zack nodded and moved his hand away so Arlo could gently lay his hand over his stomach. Even through his t-shirt, Zack could feel how warm Arlo’s touch was. His shoulders slumped, all the tension from the last two days drifting away. Arlo was okay with this, Arlo wanted the baby and… Zack honestly wanted the baby too. It was terrifying and new but Zack  _ wanted _ it. 

“You’re not going to feel anything now, they’re way too small,” Zack said. 

“Yeah, but maybe they know it’s their dad here. The cooler one.” 

“Yeah of course they know I’m here, they live in me.” 

Arlo chuckled and kissed Zack before he could make any more smart remarks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so good at writing chapter titles like honestly more people need to talk about how good I am lmao


	4. The Theft

Zack prodded at his stomach. It was looking rather bloated now, as though he’d eaten too much at Django’s restaurant. But while wearing his puffy jacket, no one noticed the extra weight. He stood outside Higgins’ workshop, waiting for Remington to return from patrol to turn in his commission. He was still able to work, nothing too crazy, Presley was adamant about that, but enough to keep money coming in to build their new nursery. While Presley didn’t know about the baby, he knew about Zack’s fainting episode and wasn’t impressed with him keeping it a secret from him. Zack would have to make it up to him, maybe buy him a new tea set or something. 

While waiting, he heard a door slam open and Higgins shout. 

“You!” The tall, gaunt-faced man jabbed a pointed finger at him, “I knew you were trouble the second you set foot in this town!” 

Zack took a step back, his eyes widened. “What’s your problem?” He managed to sputter out.

“Don’t play dumb. The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime. You stole my pickaxe!” Higgins shouted, his face blotchy and purple with rage. 

Zack blinked. What the hell was he talking about? Zack barely ever went near Higgins workshop and he definitely didn’t need to steal any pickaxe. “I didn’t take your fucking pickaxe, Higgins.” 

“Oh, so you claim. But let’s see what the Civil Corps has to say about this. I’m going straight to them right now.” 

With that, Higgins stormed off. Zack watched him go, wondering what the hell he ever did to earn Higgins’ scorn in the first place. Apart from Higgins snatching his first commission from literally under his nose, they never spoke. Was it because he was gay? Trans? But Higgins didn’t seem like the bigoted sort either, he was just an ass to everyone. Zack sighed. He was probably better off not knowing anyway. 

“What was that all about?” Remington asked. Zack hadn’t even heard the older man approach. He looked up at him and shrugged.

“He says I stole his pickaxe,” he said. 

“Did you?” 

“No. And you can check my house and stuff if you need to,” Zack said, “Here are those masks you wanted… Why did you want them anyway?” 

“No reason,” Remington said quickly, stuffing the masks into his bag. He handed Zack his payment. “We’ll look into this. I believe you, but we may have to search anyway, just to put Higgins' mind at ease.” 

“Fair enough.” 

“And it would be best if you just stayed out of his way for now. Don’t need you two coming to blows.” 

“Fine. I’ll keep him from popping a blood vessel. But I expect a formal written apology from him after this.” 

“Don’t push it, Zack,” Remington chuckled at him before moving on. 

Zack waved him off, then decided he may as well go home. He didn’t have anything else to do in the market and he was feeling drained. Apparently being shouted at in public took a lot out of you. Which was a shame, because the Spring weather was gorgeous today. A clear blue sky, a warm, gentle breeze, wildflowers in bloom, really the best time of the year, Zack thought. Maybe he and Arlo could make the most of it and have a picnic or something in the garden. The thought of a tasty picnic with his boyfriend among the flowers and buzzing bees put him in such a good mood that he almost forgot about the stolen pickaxe, but when he got to his workshop he found Arlo standing outside by the gate with Gale and Higgins. Zack suppressed a groan. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. 

Higgins sneered at him. “You know damn well what’s going on.” 

“Zack,” Gale began, then gave a small sideways glance to Higgins as though telling him to shut up, “Did you take anything from Higgins’ workshop?” 

“No.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’ve never set foot in there and I have all the materials I need,” Zack said. 

Sam came out of their house, shaking her head. “I can’t find any bronze pickaxe. He’s only got an iron one and his name is carved into the handle. Look.” 

She handed the pickaxe to Gale. Higgins leaned over the mayor’s shoulder to look, as though just by staring at it enough it would magically become his bronze pickaxe. 

“I told you he didn’t have it,” Arlo said.

“Yes, but we can’t trust your word, can we?” Higgins said. 

Arlo’s jaw tightened and Zack could see his fists clench though he had his arms folded casually. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re biased in this situation. Obviously, you’re going to side with him. A captain with such impaired judgement shouldn’t be captain at all.” 

Sam glanced nervously between them. Arlo stared Higgins down, his lips pressed firmly together as though he wanted to say something but wouldn’t. Zack had to admire his restraint because he had the urge to punch Higgins running through his blood. How dare he tell Arlo he couldn’t do his job?!

“Enough!” Gale snapped, “Now this is no time for squabbling. We’re all adults here, we can sort this mess out civilly. Higgins, when did your pickaxe go missing?” 

Higgins glared at Zack. “At two o ‘clock yesterday afternoon. I went out to get lunch, when I got back, it was gone.” 

Both Arlo and Zack stiffened. Yesterday at two they were in the hospital for a check up on the baby. They still hadn’t told anyone yet. Phyllis told them it was still early days, anything could happen, so they should wait until they’d passed a few more weeks to tell people. 

“Well, he definitely didn’t steal it. I was with him at that time,” Arlo said. 

“Of course  _ you’d  _ say that,” Higgins said. 

“Higgins,” Gale frowned at the man, “We need to think rationally about this. Zack had no reason to steal from you, and we have Arlo here saying he was with him at the time of the theft.” 

“I don’t think he’s a credible enough witness,” Higgins turned his nose up at Arlo. 

“Then ask Xu,” Zack spoke up, his arms folded over his stomach, “I had an appointment yesterday at that time. Is that credible enough for you?” 

“You’re sick?” Sam asked, “I remember hearing about you fainting in the Plaza.” 

“You fainted in the Plaza?” Arlo repeated. 

“I was dehydrated. Nothing major. And Phyllis already scolded me for it,” Zack said. 

“Well Zack, I hope you feel better soon,” Gale said, a small smile on his face, “Thank you for your time, both of you. Now Higgins, let’s go talk to Xu and get this all straightened out.” 

As they left, Higgins turned and gave Zack a dirty look. Arlo immediately threw an arm around him. 

“The hell is his problem?” Arlo asked. 

“I don’t know. But if someone stole my shit I’d be pissed too,” Zack said. 

“But why did he immediately think it was you? I don’t remember you doing anything to him.” 

“I exist and that’s enough, apparently,” Zack shrugged as they entered their house. “Look, I don’t know what Xu’s gonna tell them, if Higgins will ask what the appointment was for-” 

“He doesn’t have a right to ask that,” Arlo frowned. 

“I know, but if he does and Xu tells them, I’d rather our friends hear from us first what’s going on. And I don’t want Higgins going around telling people I’m a thief.” 

“You don’t need to worry about that, no one will believe him. Now, let’s not think about it anymore, Xu said to watch your blood pressure and stress. The next time Higgins comes around accusing you of stuff let me handle it.” 

Zack sighed and sat on the couch. Every part of his body ached and his eyelids were heavy like he’d not slept in years. “I honestly thought you were gonna punch him then and there when he said no one could trust you.” 

“I wasn’t as offended by that as I was by him insisting you were the thief on such flimsy evidence. So what if you stood by his workshop this morning? Do we have to arrest anyone standing outside his shop on the off chance they  _ might _ be guilty? Actually, you know what? I remember when your mailbox got smashed to pieces and you never once accused Higgins, even when you don’t like him as much as he doesn’t like you. He could’ve at least offered you the same benefit of the doubt.” 

“You’re really heated about this, huh?” Zack smiled at Arlo, then pulled him down onto the couch with him, “Whatever happened to let’s not think about this anymore?” 

“I just hate the way he assumed the worst of you. I know sometimes you’re an ass and you do stupid things-” 

“Thanks,” Zack chuckled. 

“But you’re not malicious about it. You’re more a danger to yourself than anyone else. I just don’t understand why he thinks of you the way he does.” 

“I don’t either. But we’re not supposed to care about what other people think, right? You and your Pigs and me and my Higgins.” 

Arlo spluttered, then rested a hand over Zack’s stomach. “If this is how I’m acting over you being mistreated, Gods know how I’ll act when the squish is born.” 

Zack tucked his head underneath Arlo’s chin. “You’ll be a good dad. The school bullies will tremble at the sight of you.” 

Arlo chuckled. “Good.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arlo is very much of the mindset "innocent until proven guilty" and does not appreciate people hurling accusations with little evidence.


	5. The Confrontation

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. He’d begun noticing his body getting softer, rounder, especially around his stomach and hips. Zack ran a hand over his stomach. He could feel the bump now, but it was still small and easily hidden behind his jacket. Phyllis said the baby would be about the size of an apricot now. It was still amazing to think there was another human growing inside him, and he often laid awake at night wondering who they were going to be. If they were going to become a builder like him, or join the Civil Corps like Arlo, or do their own thing altogether. Would they have Arlo’s sense of justice and good hair? What if they had Arlo’s sticky-out ears? Zack smiled. He thought they were so cute even if Arlo tried to hide them behind his hair. 

His boyfriend in question was nowhere to be found at home. Despite their conversation on the matter, Arlo was still furious over the Higgins incident, especially when Doctor Xu and Phyllis both said Zack was in their clinic at the time of the theft and Higgins didn’t reach out to apologize for the hassle. Honestly, Zack didn’t care that much. He’d been in that position before, so steadfastly sure he was right about something only to find out he was wrong. It was embarrassing. So he wasn’t expecting to hear from Higgins for a while, and he didn’t think Arlo should still bear a grudge. After all, Zack was proven innocent, right? And Higgins, despite what a pain in the ass he was, still needed help catching the thief and getting his property back. 

Speaking of which, Zack picked up his own iron pickaxe and headed outside. He’d probably regret this later, but he didn’t see a point in holding onto this when he wouldn’t be using it for a while, not until after the squish was born anyway. Judging by how far he was, that wouldn’t be until Winter at the latest. 

He waited until Higgins came out of his workshop, then slowly approached him. Higgins regarded him with narrowed eyes and a curled upper lip. 

“Come to gloat?” He said. 

Zack held out his pickaxe. “Here. Until you get your own back, you can borrow mine.” 

Higgins glanced between the tool and Zack. His jaw tightened. Zack wondered if he was going to make some smart remark about it being a sign of a guilty conscience but instead, Higgins surprised them both by taking the pickaxe. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly, then turned on his heel and retreated into his workshop. 

Zack stood outside awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other. That… Wasn’t how he expected this to play out. He was expecting Higgins to reject it, to tell Zack to piss off or to demand an explanation on why Zack was being so nice when Higgins accused him of theft. This felt a little anticlimactic, but then again maybe that was for the best. After all, if they caused another scene, Gale would probably pop a blood vessel. 

Since things seemed to have been settled between them, Zack decided to go tell Arlo the good news. He found his boyfriend in the Civil Corps building, punching the hell out of the training dummy Zack had made for him only a year ago. Arlo was just in his black undershirt and jeans, his skin shiny with sweat and his face flushed pink. His knuckles were raw and bloody. 

“Arlo?” Zack gasped. 

Arlo threw one final punch at the dummy and there was a resounding snap as the head broke clean off and fell to the floor with a thud. They both stood there in silence, blood dripping from Arlo’s fists onto the floor. Arlo wouldn’t look at him, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. 

“What have you done to yourself?” Zack asked, hurrying for the first aid box to find the bandages. 

“My one-thousandth punch,” Arlo replied stiffly, “I’ll have to commission you for another dummy.” 

Zack rolled his eyes and got Arlo to sit on the couch so he could patch up his hands. The silence was thick between them. Arlo’s jaw was clenched and his lips pinched like he wanted to say something but he was being held back. Zack wasn’t going to make him talk, but that didn’t mean he was going to walk on eggshells around him either. 

“I’m not making you another dummy if you’re just going to do this to yourself,” he said, “Stop pushing yourself so hard, you’re gonna kill yourself.” 

“It’s just some cuts, you’re over-reacting,” Arlo muttered. 

“I don’t care if they’re just cuts. Why are you doing this again? I thought this would stop once the Flying Pigs exams were done.” 

Arlo fell silent again and Zack knew he’d hit something. 

“You’re still upset you didn’t get in this year, aren’t you?” Zack said. 

Arlo rolled his shoulders, almost like he was trying to brush Zack off. “I don’t want to talk about it now. I’ll see you at home later.” 

“Arlo, don’t. Look, just wait for a second,” Zack held the older man’s arm to drag him back before he could stalk off. “I get you’re disappointed, but you shouldn’t punish yourself for not getting in. Shit doesn’t work out sometimes.” 

“It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted, Zack, do you understand how heartbreaking it was to hear I couldn’t sign up again next year? That I was getting too old?” 

“What do you mean you can’t sign up? I thought you said they suggested you didn’t try again?” 

Arlo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “They told me any further applications would be denied, to make room for candidates with better potential. I didn’t tell you that part because it still hurt too much.” 

“The bastards,” Zack snarled, “But, Arls, we talked about this, I thought we weren’t going to let this shit bother us anymore?” 

“That’s a lot easier for you to say. You’ve not dealt with this. All I wanted was to join the Flying Pigs, it’s all I’ve ever dreamed about since I was a kid. I had nothing and no-one back then and it was the only thing that kept me going sometimes. I don’t think you know what that feels like. So to be told now that I’ll never be good enough no matter how hard I try, to even have someone questioning whether I’m a good enough captain here, it fucking  _ hurts _ .” 

Arlo’s jaw trembled and Zack could see him tearing up. The man sniffed and took a deep breath as though willing himself not to cry. Zack rubbed his arm. 

“So you just telling me to stop caring about what they think, that’s far easier for you to say than for me to do, alright? This shit bothers me. I get that you’re like, what’s it called? Apathetic? Indifferent? You don’t care what anyone thinks about you, and sometimes I wish I was like that but I’m not.” 

A tear slipped down Arlo’s cheek, he took a deep, shuddering breath and buried his face in his hands. Zack kept his hand on Arlo’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. 

“That’s not entirely true,” he said quietly, “I care what you think about me. I cared about what you would think of the squish and if you would even want them. And when they’re born I’ll care what they think of me, if they’ll think I’m a good dad or hate me as much as I hate my own.” 

Arlo paused then. He looked up at Zack with red, puffy eyes. “You’ve never told me about your dad.” 

Ah, changing the topic to something Arlo was more comfortable with. Zack recognised this tactic, he’d used it a lot himself. Fine, he’d divert the real issue for now if it helped Arlo calm down. 

“That’s because there’s nothing to talk about. He left his wife and son behind to go adventuring out to the middle of nowhere. He didn’t come back when mum got sick, or even for her funeral. He only came back long enough to figure out what to do with me and then he dumped me at my aunt’s. And when she died, he didn’t come back at all. Sometimes he writes and it’s the most stomach-wrenching, rug-sweeping chunk of bullshit I’ve ever read in my life, acting like he didn’t have a choice but be a neglectful dick. He abandoned me, he knows it, he just doesn’t want to acknowledge it. Sometimes Presley pisses me off when he tells me my dad would be proud, or I remind him of my dad. But he doesn’t know what he’s really like so I can’t chew him out for it. He means well, I know.” 

“Seems like there’s a lot to talk about,” Arlo said with a small, sad smile. 

“Yeah. But you know how you said I was indifferent or something? That’s because I was an angry, bitter little shit as a kid and people already thought the worst of me. You don’t have to care what people think if you already  _ know _ what they think. So, I would tell myself that I didn’t care, and eventually I didn’t. Maybe I would’ve turned out better if I had something to strive for like you. Maybe I would’ve let go of my anger sooner. I’m sorry if it seems like I don’t care about what you’re struggling with. I do. I just don’t know how to help.” 

“I don’t either,” Arlo admitted, “I don’t think you can. It’s gonna take time for me to get over this.” 

“I just don’t want you to hurt yourself again,” Zack said. 

Arlo shot Zack a small, sad smile before leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I won’t. I promise. So long as you promise to stop telling me not to care.” 

“I promise.” 


End file.
